Sunday, March 24, 2019
Creepy Dolls
Dolls seem to be something that many people cherish and keep throughout the years. Other people are very bothered by dolls. I still have all my Barbie dolls and many of my baby dolls, but there is one doll that really stands out. I got her for Christmas one year from my Grandma Bonnie. I took her everywhere and played with her every chance I got. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, just like me, and she was pretty near "pertinear" as tall as I was. Her name was Judith and she sure took a beating. I didn't mean for her to lose an eye and a leg, it just happened. I didn't mean to write on her face, it was an accident. I didn't mean to cut her long hair, the scissors got in the way. I'm sorry, Judith, but I obviously still love you because on my mantel you still sit...staring at people...creeping them out...and I wouldn't have it any other way!!
Saturday, March 23, 2019
Pepto Bismol
Have you ever wondered why Pepto Bismol is pink? And what's with the name?!! Pepto. Clepto. Bismol. Shamismol. I had to buy a bottle of Pepto for my daughter the other day and it isn't very hard to find on the shelf, that's for sure...just look for the pink glow! As I pilfered through the boxes of tablets and the various sizes of bottles, I wondered why Pepto Bismol is pink. Was the original mixture so putrid that nobody in their right might would drink it so they had to add dyes or food coloring to disguise it? Hmmmm. Let me just read the ingredients. Wait right here...
Ok, I'm back. What color is pepsin? What about zinc salts? Salol anybody? Wintergreen oil? Ok, I've looked these things up because I just couldn't stand it. Pepsin is a bunch of digestive enzymes, those are probably the color of nuclear green, wouldn't you say?! Zinc salts are a blueish-silver. Salol is a white powdery substance used as an antiseptic and I think we all know Wintergreen is probably green. Would you drink this stuff if it were all mixed together? Shoot, it might even be the color of Xanadu from my color poem!! LOL, I think I totally understand mixing in some red dyes to make it a bubble gum pink color. Who doesn't love bubble gum?!
Pepto Bismol. First created when looking to cure a scary form of cholera that caused severe diarrhea, vomiting, and sometimes death. Back then, in the early 20th century, the concern for higher standards of hygiene and sanitation weren't as widespread as they are today. Nowadays, we can't even bake cookies or brownies and send them to school with our children, everything has to be pre-packaged. I wish it wasn't so because I love to bake, but thank goodness there's Pepto Bismol.
Ok, I'm back. What color is pepsin? What about zinc salts? Salol anybody? Wintergreen oil? Ok, I've looked these things up because I just couldn't stand it. Pepsin is a bunch of digestive enzymes, those are probably the color of nuclear green, wouldn't you say?! Zinc salts are a blueish-silver. Salol is a white powdery substance used as an antiseptic and I think we all know Wintergreen is probably green. Would you drink this stuff if it were all mixed together? Shoot, it might even be the color of Xanadu from my color poem!! LOL, I think I totally understand mixing in some red dyes to make it a bubble gum pink color. Who doesn't love bubble gum?!
Pepto Bismol. First created when looking to cure a scary form of cholera that caused severe diarrhea, vomiting, and sometimes death. Back then, in the early 20th century, the concern for higher standards of hygiene and sanitation weren't as widespread as they are today. Nowadays, we can't even bake cookies or brownies and send them to school with our children, everything has to be pre-packaged. I wish it wasn't so because I love to bake, but thank goodness there's Pepto Bismol.
Friday, March 22, 2019
My First Car
I started driving a tractor around the farm when I was nine-years-old. I got to disc and pull a harrow...if I kept it in the furrow!!! I'd also get to drive my grandpa's 1969 Ford F-150 three-on-the-tree and the truck's name was Whitey because he was white! Quite original I might add and my parents still have Whitey to this day! Everybody in my family has a name for their vehicle so when I got my first vehicle I was so excited to name it, but it already had a name. 😒
My first car was a bright fire-engine red, wood-grain sided, 1976 Ford LTD Countrysquire station wagon named Mooney. Why? Because some old man named Gerald Mooney was drunk one night and side-swiped my sister. From then on the car became Mooney. I hated Mooney. He was big and a station wagon and E-M-B-A-R-R-A-S-S-I-N-G! I had hoped I would never have to drive Mooney. He was my sister's car. Why did I have to drive her hand-me-downs? Why didn't I get a car and she keep driving Mooney? Life is never fair for the youngest child in the family. I was always getting gypped! When I started driving Mooney, I felt like the Griswold's in the movie Vacation driving that scag-nasty green station wagon. No wonder Audrey took to smoking pot!! LOL
I tried everything to keep from having to drive Mooney and I even tried tearing him up by bottoming out in the grocery store parking lot and bottoming out going through Sonic, but my dad would just keep fixing him. I kind of feel bad about that now, but back then I sure didn't! I finally gave up trying to tear him up and realized I could fit way more friends in my car than any other. I got an 8-track stereo and some jammin' speakers and hooked them up all by myself! I ordered new 8-track tapes through Columbia House so we would have some rad tunes to listen to as we cruised the gut because that is all there was to do in our small town. We would all pile in old Mooney and could usually get about 12 of us in the car...of course this was back before seatbelt days! We would even pop up the hidden jump seats in the very back and people would sit in them, they'd sit across the back in the area above the jump seats, they'd sit in the back bench seat and all across the front bench seat. It was like the first of party buses, but the station wagon from the 70s...Mooney.
My first car was a bright fire-engine red, wood-grain sided, 1976 Ford LTD Countrysquire station wagon named Mooney. Why? Because some old man named Gerald Mooney was drunk one night and side-swiped my sister. From then on the car became Mooney. I hated Mooney. He was big and a station wagon and E-M-B-A-R-R-A-S-S-I-N-G! I had hoped I would never have to drive Mooney. He was my sister's car. Why did I have to drive her hand-me-downs? Why didn't I get a car and she keep driving Mooney? Life is never fair for the youngest child in the family. I was always getting gypped! When I started driving Mooney, I felt like the Griswold's in the movie Vacation driving that scag-nasty green station wagon. No wonder Audrey took to smoking pot!! LOL
I tried everything to keep from having to drive Mooney and I even tried tearing him up by bottoming out in the grocery store parking lot and bottoming out going through Sonic, but my dad would just keep fixing him. I kind of feel bad about that now, but back then I sure didn't! I finally gave up trying to tear him up and realized I could fit way more friends in my car than any other. I got an 8-track stereo and some jammin' speakers and hooked them up all by myself! I ordered new 8-track tapes through Columbia House so we would have some rad tunes to listen to as we cruised the gut because that is all there was to do in our small town. We would all pile in old Mooney and could usually get about 12 of us in the car...of course this was back before seatbelt days! We would even pop up the hidden jump seats in the very back and people would sit in them, they'd sit across the back in the area above the jump seats, they'd sit in the back bench seat and all across the front bench seat. It was like the first of party buses, but the station wagon from the 70s...Mooney.
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Dad, Charlie, and the Exotic Dancer
My parents live on the highway between Columbus and Crestline and have had many people stop over the years for various reasons like running out of gas, hitting a deer, car breaking down, wanting to sell them something, wanting to buy something my parents have, etc. Thank goodness for the invention of cell phones because the people knocking at the door dwindled when cell phones came into existence.
One evening, Dad was waiting on Charlie to come and pick him up to go to work. They worked at the Asbury Power Plant on swing shift so this particular week it was Charlie's turn to drive and they were working midnights. My sister and I always had to be home at 11:15 no matter what shift Dad was working because my mom didn't like being at home by herself, especially at night. As Dad waited for Charlie, he could hear the spew of water on the pavement made by vehicles passing since it had rained earlier. He said that it was so clear that night that one could hear a pin drop. The crickets, locusts, mosquitoes, the electric pole humming, everything. But the one thing that Dad didn't hear was the spewing sound from the tires of an oncoming vehicle that suddenly stopped and in a few minutes a woman arose from the highway of darkness and was walking towards him up our long driveway and asked Dad for a ride. She told him she had dropped her cigarette lighter in the floorboards of her car and reached down to get the lighter when all of a sudden she crashed her car in the wooded area out by the highway on my parents land. She told Dad she was on her way to work and really needed to get there. Charlie got there and Dad asked Charlie if they could give this young woman a ride to work in Pittsburg that she had crashed her car out by the highway. Charlie said it shouldn't be a problem, but they needed to call in because they were probably going to arrive late. Dad went back to the house and called him and Charlie in late and away they went to Pittsburg. Dad said the woman, who was dressed rather provocatively, was an exotic dancer at Pat's Lounge. Dad didn't tell Charlie where she worked until they got to Pittsburg because he knew Charlie would've had a freak out with the possibility of him and his vehicle being seen outside of Pat's Lounge. He said Charlie had a hard enough time keeping his eyes on the road because he kept looking in the rearview mirror at this young woman and her attire!! I laughed so hard at Dad when he was telling me this story because I was imagining Charlie gawking at this woman from his rearview mirror with his big, pop-bottle glasses and if you knew Charlie's wife there would be no more Charlie because Big Margaret would have squished him like a bug!!
After letting the woman out at Pat's Lounge, Dad and Charlie headed on to Asbury to go to work. They finished their shift and headed home the next morning. Dad had gotten in the house and after a few minutes, there was a knock at the front door. It was the young woman, a bouncer, and the owner of Pat's Lounge bringing her to get her car but it wasn't crashed in the trees where she left it. Dad told the young lady that he didn't know where her car was and then the bouncer flashed open his jacket revealing a gun and he asked my dad again where her car was. My dad didn't take too kindly to being threatened by a trashy man with a little handgun so he told them to wait right there, he'd call the sheriff and find out. Dad went and got his shotgun, called the sheriff, and came back to the door holding his shotgun and told the bouncer that Sheriff Sharp had seen the car and towed it to the county lot for abandoned vehicles and they could get the "heck" off his land and never come back.
I've never heard this story until yesterday because I'm sure that in Dad's mind he was protecting us and keeping us from worrying about sketchy people knocking at the front door. All I know is I'll never give an exotic dancer a ride nor will I ever feel the desire to visit Pat's Lounge!!
One evening, Dad was waiting on Charlie to come and pick him up to go to work. They worked at the Asbury Power Plant on swing shift so this particular week it was Charlie's turn to drive and they were working midnights. My sister and I always had to be home at 11:15 no matter what shift Dad was working because my mom didn't like being at home by herself, especially at night. As Dad waited for Charlie, he could hear the spew of water on the pavement made by vehicles passing since it had rained earlier. He said that it was so clear that night that one could hear a pin drop. The crickets, locusts, mosquitoes, the electric pole humming, everything. But the one thing that Dad didn't hear was the spewing sound from the tires of an oncoming vehicle that suddenly stopped and in a few minutes a woman arose from the highway of darkness and was walking towards him up our long driveway and asked Dad for a ride. She told him she had dropped her cigarette lighter in the floorboards of her car and reached down to get the lighter when all of a sudden she crashed her car in the wooded area out by the highway on my parents land. She told Dad she was on her way to work and really needed to get there. Charlie got there and Dad asked Charlie if they could give this young woman a ride to work in Pittsburg that she had crashed her car out by the highway. Charlie said it shouldn't be a problem, but they needed to call in because they were probably going to arrive late. Dad went back to the house and called him and Charlie in late and away they went to Pittsburg. Dad said the woman, who was dressed rather provocatively, was an exotic dancer at Pat's Lounge. Dad didn't tell Charlie where she worked until they got to Pittsburg because he knew Charlie would've had a freak out with the possibility of him and his vehicle being seen outside of Pat's Lounge. He said Charlie had a hard enough time keeping his eyes on the road because he kept looking in the rearview mirror at this young woman and her attire!! I laughed so hard at Dad when he was telling me this story because I was imagining Charlie gawking at this woman from his rearview mirror with his big, pop-bottle glasses and if you knew Charlie's wife there would be no more Charlie because Big Margaret would have squished him like a bug!!
After letting the woman out at Pat's Lounge, Dad and Charlie headed on to Asbury to go to work. They finished their shift and headed home the next morning. Dad had gotten in the house and after a few minutes, there was a knock at the front door. It was the young woman, a bouncer, and the owner of Pat's Lounge bringing her to get her car but it wasn't crashed in the trees where she left it. Dad told the young lady that he didn't know where her car was and then the bouncer flashed open his jacket revealing a gun and he asked my dad again where her car was. My dad didn't take too kindly to being threatened by a trashy man with a little handgun so he told them to wait right there, he'd call the sheriff and find out. Dad went and got his shotgun, called the sheriff, and came back to the door holding his shotgun and told the bouncer that Sheriff Sharp had seen the car and towed it to the county lot for abandoned vehicles and they could get the "heck" off his land and never come back.
I've never heard this story until yesterday because I'm sure that in Dad's mind he was protecting us and keeping us from worrying about sketchy people knocking at the front door. All I know is I'll never give an exotic dancer a ride nor will I ever feel the desire to visit Pat's Lounge!!
 |
| This guy reminds me of Charlie!! LOL |
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Camp in a State Park...Not in the Left Lane
I talk to my sister every morning as we both commute to work. Most people wouldn't be able to stand our kind of conversation, but we do make heads or tails out of each and every one of them!
If you were to listen in on our chatter each morning, it might sound a little something like this:
(some words may have been changed to make this blog a PG rating)
"What in the heck are you doing? and this little old lady on my route set out oranges for me...Oh no you didn't just pull out in front of me, I'd like to just ram you...and I thought I had lost Mr. Meche who used to give me oranges so now I have a new little lady...Get outta my way you stupid left lane driver...Left Lane is for passing, ya fool...well, I'm so excited you found a new lady to give you oranges...What an idiot, this guy just passed in a no-passing zone, where are the cops when you need them...those we picked from Mr. Meche that one Christmas were like eating liquid gold...I have early morning duty this morning and all these people are making me late (honk, honk tapping the horn lightly to speed people up...my husband disagrees as to what this really means) I'm never going to make it, oh this man is a thorn in my side every single day no matter what time I leave...is it that old man going for coffee?...Yep, I can't stand him...Stop at the coffee shop and give him a piece of your mind...he has no idea how he's backing up traffic...I don't have time to do that (another horn blast, laying on quite heavy as he pulls into Asbury Quick Stop and maybe a hand-gesture swinging out the window that I rolled down)...there, I feel better...(both of us laughing)...Did you talk to mom?...Yes, last night...did she play-by-play from the minute she woke up...Yep, like always...One of these days I'm going to miss that...Me Too...you stupid wench...what happened?...oh some lady is texting and driving crossing the center line (honking of the horn)...You're going to kill me and make my kids orphans, texting and driving, I wish I had a train horn and I'd just blast em the 'ignoranus'...Gooooooo, these mommas in their SUVs that don't know how to drive...oh don't get me started...did Bethany get her walls painted?...Yes, and Lohn Face-timed me and Get out of the left lane ya jackwagon...oh my gosh, here's a stinkin' train, now I'm going to be late to work too...well, it's 7:15 gotta go...talk to you tomorrow!!"
And there ya have it, folks! A morning conversation between my sister and I! Click on the link below and get an idea of something I secretly want to do someday...I know, it isn't a secret any longer!!!
One of My Favorites
If you were to listen in on our chatter each morning, it might sound a little something like this:
(some words may have been changed to make this blog a PG rating)
"What in the heck are you doing? and this little old lady on my route set out oranges for me...Oh no you didn't just pull out in front of me, I'd like to just ram you...and I thought I had lost Mr. Meche who used to give me oranges so now I have a new little lady...Get outta my way you stupid left lane driver...Left Lane is for passing, ya fool...well, I'm so excited you found a new lady to give you oranges...What an idiot, this guy just passed in a no-passing zone, where are the cops when you need them...those we picked from Mr. Meche that one Christmas were like eating liquid gold...I have early morning duty this morning and all these people are making me late (honk, honk tapping the horn lightly to speed people up...my husband disagrees as to what this really means) I'm never going to make it, oh this man is a thorn in my side every single day no matter what time I leave...is it that old man going for coffee?...Yep, I can't stand him...Stop at the coffee shop and give him a piece of your mind...he has no idea how he's backing up traffic...I don't have time to do that (another horn blast, laying on quite heavy as he pulls into Asbury Quick Stop and maybe a hand-gesture swinging out the window that I rolled down)...there, I feel better...(both of us laughing)...Did you talk to mom?...Yes, last night...did she play-by-play from the minute she woke up...Yep, like always...One of these days I'm going to miss that...Me Too...you stupid wench...what happened?...oh some lady is texting and driving crossing the center line (honking of the horn)...You're going to kill me and make my kids orphans, texting and driving, I wish I had a train horn and I'd just blast em the 'ignoranus'...Gooooooo, these mommas in their SUVs that don't know how to drive...oh don't get me started...did Bethany get her walls painted?...Yes, and Lohn Face-timed me and Get out of the left lane ya jackwagon...oh my gosh, here's a stinkin' train, now I'm going to be late to work too...well, it's 7:15 gotta go...talk to you tomorrow!!"
And there ya have it, folks! A morning conversation between my sister and I! Click on the link below and get an idea of something I secretly want to do someday...I know, it isn't a secret any longer!!!
One of My Favorites
Livin' la Vida Loca
It isn't every day that a girl lives a crazy life, but today was one of those days! I got up early to clean the house, run some errands, and get ready for my trip to Warrensburg, Missouri. My daughter, Hannah, called and told me to get ready they were a few miles down the road and we were going to breakfast. I got around and within a few minutes, here they came. I hopped into the back seat with Beau and away we went to Jimmy's Egg. He had on the cutest Batman pants with a matching shirt and he held out his little hand for me to hold when I got in the car. My heart was so happy as I sat there with our little man. I washed down my french toast with some coffee and felt they were being a little weird. As we were heading back to our house, Nick turned right instead of left. I asked where we were going and got no answer, but we eventually pulled into the doctor's office so I asked if something was wrong. I figured Hannah had a UTI or something. Nothing was wrong but was told that Beau had something to show me. Nick got Beau out of his car seat, he unzipped his jacket and had me read his shirt. It said, "This Superhero is going to be a Big Brother." I was quite shocked and happy but really wanted Hannah to finish school before expanding their little family. She could tell I wasn't extremely excited, but I really am, I'm just a lame person to surprise!! We all went into the doctor and he was so thrilled to see all of us, especially Beau. Most doctors don't get to see the babies they deliver, but Beau made sure to give Dr. Seals the "mean muggins" look! We plan to see our new little bundle around the first week of November.
After getting the surprise of my current life, we headed to Kansas City to the Jacob L. Loose Park so Hannah and Nick could get their engagement pictures taken. We had a wonderful time and the park was beautiful. Lots of trees, bridges, ponds, arches, stone buildings, benches, and so many people exercising and about 35,000 dogs being walked by their owners. I pushed Beau around in the stroller as the photographer took pictures. One of the backgrounds he chose was a ton of Pine trees in the middle of the park. What we didn't know was the community of hippies in the middle of the community of Pine trees smoking marijuana and having a grand ol' time lying in their hammocks! We left that area and headed over to the other side of the park where there were bridges and ponds. The photographer finished up and even took some pictures of me and Beau looking at the ducks and geese. We said our goodbyes and I headed to Warrensburg.
I arrived in the old college town and grabbed some Chipotle, checked into my hotel, ate my supper, took a bubble bath, and sacked out in my bed all by myself! I got to watch whatever I wanted on the television, set the room control on a nice 74 degrees because that's what I like, I stayed up late, and tried to write this blog but failed miserably. I could not focus as I had the channel on Family Guy. There wasn't anything on so I stopped surfing when I came to Family Guy. I noticed Rick and Morty was up next and I've watched that with my son, Joe. I never realized how funny but really crude the Family Guy is. I laughed to myself at Quagmire and Brian, Peter and Lois. I then realized as I sat there and laughed, I've never stayed in a hotel all by myself. I've always had someone with me so that was a revolution all in itself! Talking about one crazy day! Finding out I'm going to be a grandma again, discovering pot smokers in the park, and enjoying my own company in a hotel room!! I'm definitely livin' la vida loca!
After getting the surprise of my current life, we headed to Kansas City to the Jacob L. Loose Park so Hannah and Nick could get their engagement pictures taken. We had a wonderful time and the park was beautiful. Lots of trees, bridges, ponds, arches, stone buildings, benches, and so many people exercising and about 35,000 dogs being walked by their owners. I pushed Beau around in the stroller as the photographer took pictures. One of the backgrounds he chose was a ton of Pine trees in the middle of the park. What we didn't know was the community of hippies in the middle of the community of Pine trees smoking marijuana and having a grand ol' time lying in their hammocks! We left that area and headed over to the other side of the park where there were bridges and ponds. The photographer finished up and even took some pictures of me and Beau looking at the ducks and geese. We said our goodbyes and I headed to Warrensburg.
I arrived in the old college town and grabbed some Chipotle, checked into my hotel, ate my supper, took a bubble bath, and sacked out in my bed all by myself! I got to watch whatever I wanted on the television, set the room control on a nice 74 degrees because that's what I like, I stayed up late, and tried to write this blog but failed miserably. I could not focus as I had the channel on Family Guy. There wasn't anything on so I stopped surfing when I came to Family Guy. I noticed Rick and Morty was up next and I've watched that with my son, Joe. I never realized how funny but really crude the Family Guy is. I laughed to myself at Quagmire and Brian, Peter and Lois. I then realized as I sat there and laughed, I've never stayed in a hotel all by myself. I've always had someone with me so that was a revolution all in itself! Talking about one crazy day! Finding out I'm going to be a grandma again, discovering pot smokers in the park, and enjoying my own company in a hotel room!! I'm definitely livin' la vida loca!
means doing wild and crazy things that make you cool.
Monday, March 18, 2019
Turkey in the Straw
It was yesterday afternoon on March seventeen,
When I heard a sound coming from down the street.
I had not heard this sound in quite a while,
But you could faintly hear it for many a mile.
What do I speaketh of and what do I mean?
A little white truck with a music machine.
Usually painted white and annoying to some,
But out of the homes and yards, the children all come.
It's the ice cream truck, loaded with yummy treats,
It's the ice cream truck, many streets it has beat,
It's the ice cream truck, the prices kind of high,
It's the ice cream truck, hurry or it'll pass you by!
I cannot believe the ice cream truck was out and about in our neighborhood yesterday! I guess you could say it's a pretty good gig for approximately eight months out of the year. Hmmm?! Maybe this is something I can do when I retire?! I don't know though, driving 10 mph all day long would be utter pandemonium! I'm being serious too! But, if I could, I would have a beefed-up ice cream truck painted bright and colorful, not sketchy white! Wouldn't that lure the children in?
The song it was playing was Turkey in the Straw. Can you name at least three other songs the ice cream truck usually plays?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)