The Roadie

Growing up in a small town can sometimes leave one a little too naive.

Moving to the big metropolis of Pittsburg, Kansas seemed like moving to New York City to me, especially back in 1986...back in the horse and buggy days!!  (just kidding)   I lived in the dorms my first year of college with one of my best friends from high school, met some more friends, then we all moved into a large home in the historic district of the Burg.  There were four of us girls and we had so much fun living the college life...until it came to an abrupt end!

I moved to a little house out in the country, two of the girls moved back to their hometowns, and my friend from high school, Lisa, rented an apartment in downtown Pittsburg.  We all still keep in contact today.

Enter the band "Country Alibi" (not their real name).  Country Alibi was playing all over the area.  My friend, Becky, saw a flyer and asked if I wanted to go.  She had heard the band was good and the lead singer had a great voice.  We drove clear to Piqua, Kansas which was an hour and a half from Pittsburg.  Becky had heard right, the lead singer had an amazing voice and the band was excellent.  We had the best of time and planned to go wherever Country Alibi was playing next.  We became true roadies and we became true friends with every band member.  We received invites to special events, invites to graduations, invites to the lake, backstage pass invites, you name it...when we received INVITES...we were there!  We were just plain addicted to Country Alibi!!!

About a year into being roadies, the lead singer, "Rafe" (not his real name, but a cute name because fake Rafe was cute AND he could sing), asked me if I wanted to go grab a bite to eat after his show.  We hopped in his fancy Corvette and headed into Pittsburg and had the best of conversation, the best bite to eat, and the best night ever.  I was on cloud 9 that this lead singer seemed interested in me.  I spent many evenings watching movies with Rafe.  We would have dinner together on many occasions and during these awesome moments there was one night that he sang to me.  Wow!  If you've never had a guy...or girl sing to you, it is one of the most emotional and cherishable moments and I still cherish that moment to this day...even though what I'm about to tell you would make you want to erase the moment forever!! LOL

So, things are going GREAT...I haven't met his parents yet nor he mine...but we're getting close to that point.  Are you ready for this...Country Alibi was asked to be the opening band for Diamond Rio!!!  The hype was all over Pittsburg and frankly all over the area.  Tickets were selling like hotcakes and eventually sold out, but Becky, Lisa and I got ours, thanks to Rafe, so we started planning for our special night.  The weeks flew by as the date drew near.  The best pair of Rockies and cool western shirt a girl could find were purchased as were new lace-up Ropers...this gal was ready to "meet in the middle" with Diamond Rio.  The day of the concert finally arrived.  Rafe came by and picked me up so we could go help the band get set up and afterwards we hung out and got super stoked about the night.  Who gets to open up for Diamond Rio?!!!!  Country Alibi!  That's who!! 

Becky, Lisa and I met at my house to do our hair, makeup and finish getting ready for the evening.  We arrived at our destination about an hour early, found our seats and got settled in.  We visited with each band member and wished them luck.  We even checked on the sound man to be sure he had everything he needed and then made our way back to our seats.  The show was getting ready to start and the moment we had all been waiting for.  Country Alibi came out strong, singing their best songs in the perfect lineup.  Everything was going perfectly...until the intermission.

Oh. My. Gosh.  Are my eyes and ears deceiving me?  What in the world just happened?  Rafe just asked some girl to marry him in front of the entire audience...and it certainly wasn't me that he asked!  I sat their with my mouth hanging clear to the floor.  How could I not have known that Rafe had a girlfriend... NOT just a girlfriend...but a FIANCE'????  My whole body was on fire.  I was speechleess.  I am not into making a scene, but at this moment I so badly wanted to.  I.am.so.NAIVE.  I decided right then that I was NOT going to miss Diamond Rio for this poge.  Yes, he was a colonel in the Marines.  Ugh.  Back at the table my friends consoled me and we decided what would be the best thing to do at this particular point in the evening.  Folks...I'm a white personality...I'd rather dodge any type of confrontation if at all possible.  So, what did I do?  Well, I went up to the other band members and thanked them for telling me ( I was so nice it was sickening because they knew they should have told me) and then I went over to Rafe and "Pam" (not her real name) and congratulated the oh-so-happy couple!  I then went and sat back down.  I made it my purpose in life (at that moment anyway) to make Rafe as uncomfortable as I possibly could from then on out.  I continued being a roadie and eventually "Pam" started to notice that we girls were there at every show.  How did I not notice her before now?  Was she ever even at any of the other shows?  Over the course of several weekends, "Pam" got so used to seeing us at the shows that she started sitting at our table and hanging out with us!  We became friends.  I felt really bad because I really liked "Pam".  If anyone wanted to be a fly on the wall, I imagine Rafe did!  He was probably DYING to know what we were talking about while he was up there on the stage singing his little ol' heart out.  I don't know about you, but I was secretly hoping he was squirming in his britches.  He was probably praying that I wouldn't tell "Pam" his dirty little secret!  Believe me, I wanted to tell her, but I didn't think it was my place...it was Rafe's place to tell her what a dirty rat he'd been.

As the months flew by and the big wedding approached, "Pam" asked me and Becky if we would like to cut the wedding cake and serve it at their reception.  I didn't even blink an eye and told "Pam" that we would LOVE to attend their wedding and help out in any way we could.  The big day came.  Becky and I cut the cake.  Becky and I served the cake.  The photographer told Becky and I to get together with the Bride and Groom at the cake table so he could take a photo.  We did.  I'm glad to know that my cake-cutting picture is somewhere in Rafe's wedding photo album as a constant reminder of how awful he treated me.  Not just me though...how awful he treated "Pam".

20 years later...I receive a "Friend Request" on Facebook from Rafe.

22 years later...A student asked me...with a big smile on her face...if I knew her Uncle Rafe...ugh!

25 years later...Rafe invites me to the Kansas Speedway to watch him and his daughter sing the National Anthem.  They were nationally televised on ESPN.  No, I did not attend, although I did give it a thought...or two.  (I've never been to the Kansas Speedway)

26 years later...Rafe invites me to his retirement ceremony from the United States Marines in Topeka.  I knew this was going to be a huge deal for him and I really did want to be there, but I just couldn't bring myself to go...not even as his friend.

I guess I am fresh out of accepting "INVITES".